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2011-07-23

My two cents on Transformers 3



The first Transformers movie was, at least to me, somewhat of a surprise. I had not expected it to be as entertaining as it turned out to be. Of course it was just a big bunch of special effects sequences bound together by some shallow story, but the ratio was somehow right.

The second Transformers movie I just hated. Firstly, they flattened down the characters to even more stereotypes than in the first movie (not that there was much to flatten down from anyway) and introduced new ones that could not be have been any flatter to begin with.  Then, apparently they looked at all the parts that really sucked from the first one (e.g. embarrasingly stupid jokes that aren't even funny when you are in puberty) and decided to put more of them in the sequel - more stupid jokes, more stupid bots. Lastly, they ramped up the special effects sequences to a degree that the audience could not possibly make sense of what they were watching. Most of the sequences woosh by and you cannot even tell which blob of machinery are the good bots, which are the bad, who is winning, who is loosing. 

The new third Transformers movie is somewhat better than the second. Just that it is completely boring. They managed to restrain themselves with the stupid jokes this time, and managed to make the special effects sequences understandable (albeit even more over-the-top, and this time in 3D). But that is about it. The story of Sam (Shia LaBeouf), the protagonist of the first two movies, struggling to lead a normal life and find a normal job despite him being a hero who had saved the world twice - well, it could not be more boring. The relationship with his new girlfriend (Rosie Huntington-Whiteley) is completely boring as well. And even the actual story about this next battle between the Autobots and the Decepticons is just that: boring. Now don't get me wrong: I did not expect much! But come on, at least a tiny little bit of interesting story? Give me something so that I can feel at least a little bit of interest in the fate of the characters? Please? Some little bit of thrill maybe? Something that makes me ignore all the remaining stupidity and plot holes maybe?

Now, I can't really explain why I even went to watch the third one, especially despite hating the second one so much. I guess it was mostly because I had read some favorable reviews. Or maybe it's just the nerd in me. 

On that thought, I wonder what makes me more nerdy. The fact that I watched this movie in the first place? Or the fact that I recognized Leonard Nimoy (as the voice of one of the bots) make a Spock quote from The Wrath of Kahn? Or maybe the fact that I feel that this boring special effects nonsense is not worthy of any Star Trek quote? 

Oh, and in case you decide to watch the movie, don't let it fool you: There is no dark side of the moon. Think about it for a bit. If you don't believe me, check it out: there is no dark side of the moon